FUCK

Well fuck. It's back; the constant reminder of the fact, I AM NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH. The feeling in the bottom of my stomach making me drag myself though every day. She's back or at least she's coming back. Well she never left. Her voice is low and raspy now but it's getting clearer I can hear it. "You pathetic fucking wast of space DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR GOD DAM LIFE". She threatens me, laughs at me, and she knows everything. She knows my past my weak spots and she knows exactly what to do to make me hurt. And I can't hide it she knows. Well FUCK.

Writing

Writing is a lot like vomit, when you get inspired it just comes. Then you have to clean it up.

Practising smiles

Starring in the mirror, practising smiles.
I see you looking at me searching for something
wrong. I flash you my favorite. You accept it. How fitting.
"It's not lie. It just misleads." "I never said it you assumed"
Every things fine. I didn't hurt her. She'll be OK. but will
I? Will you? I'm not lying to you. I never said it,
You assumed. And that's. just. wrong. Now you're
Starring in the mirror, practising smiles.

So, is this the end? Are you leaving? All the nights I screamed at you to leave and I don't want to see you go. But when you settle back in it rotes my soul. I think you have to leave. But can you just stay.

Hold on

"Just hold my hand" I said again the desperation breaking my voice. "Just take it" barly above a wisper tears threatening. "Please" It was nothing but a wimper. And all you did was stare.

Looking guilty

You know why.
Why they stare at you,
Their judgemental eyes pricing the outer layer seducting the soul to talk.
They, obsessively know just by looking at you
You're pathetic, gross disgusting.
They may not know your past but they know the type.

You fucking look guilty.

Stay this way

Can, Can we just stay like this?

Do, do we have to leave?

Things! do they have toooo change.
We've! we've worked it out so far.
I just don't know what I'd do.
I don't know where I'd go.

But the memories here are just too strong.
(The memories here are just too strong.)

So I've packed my bags.
closed my eyes.
Wiped your tears and said goodbye.

For a sec-ond I---------- heard the shot.
Then I felt the blooood running down my neck.
Then blackness fell
and I went away.
because things, things just couldn't stay this way.

A child's treasure

We were taking the long way because the last time we toke the short way we found a dead bird. It was still a short walk to the park only about five minuets but still a great journey. Our little feet moved slowly savouring the freedom. Then we stumbled upon a treasure it was amazing to behold the sight of a discarded fork. In perfect condition it's still shined in the high sun. We didn't disturb our treasure but left it there for the next traveler to find.

I walked to the park today and on my way found a discarded fork, it's amazing how wasteful people can be. How disgusting they can be leaving garbage every where.