Anticipation

Spin me around once,
Twice,
Three times.

Walk. Sit. And now you leave.

When I open my eyes I am sitting alone in a fallen forest. The dead leaves sheltering me from the ground. Everything except the wind is quite. It was hitting my face as we walked. Laughing at my discontent at getting my wish. I wanted to leave and now I have. When I stand the wind falls silent in anticipation. I know which way we came. A quick glace back and I keep walking. A smile creeps it's way across my face as I wipe away the last tear I'll ever shed for you.

Broken smile

Through blurred eyes I can see your broken smile. It's barley above a frown just slightly curled. Lips separated to suggest teeth. I can't help but smirk at your pain. It's laughable.

Fight for your life.

You're fighting for your life. Holding on to the last bits of reality sensibility even fear, anything to keep fighting. It brings tears to your eyes when you think of it, your throat closes and it seems like they win. So you push it out of your mind as quickly as possible. A scream usually does it but with others in the house alternative methods must be found. I pull my hair it gets those feelings out then bury my head in hopes they won't be able to find me.

I'm worried about you.
Shut up you did this and I'm not falling for that. Every time I forgive you, you betray me.
You mustn't be so paranoid.
You're a fucking bitch get out of my head.

Old habits

I promised myself 2011 was going to be a good year yet I've fallen into old habits. I try to avoid sleep because in those minuets to hours I'm laying in dark I have nothing to distract me from these thoughts. On the off chance I manage to fall asleep quickly I see a scorpion stinging me or a spiders crawling on me. After jolting to concessions I check my bed searching every blanket separately and even though it's -20C and my room is the coldest in the house I throw my blankets on the floor because I just can't do it. When I can't sleep I lay there and the thoughts attack me. I pull on my hair trying to force them out and bury my head under my pillow so maybe they won't be able to find me but they always do. But horrible as sleeping is being awake is worst.

The smile

I look at you and see that half smile the right side of your mouth curled up. That's your fake smile. When you see my disappointment you put in some teeth but you still can't muster up enough joy to lift the left side. So my eyebrows furrow and my smile weekends. That's my fake smile. You see it and I straighten my eye brows. The right side of your mouth lifts. We look away to avoid the disappointment in each other's eyes.
When did we start this game?

Paper girl

Paper words describing a paper girl so fragile and delicate.
A sigh can blow you out of my life.
Your so easily lost amongst my papers many of them blank just there to create a distraction so I can not find you.
I'll pin you on my wall so that you can never leave.
And when ever I look you'll be smiling back at me.

But when I close my eyes at night
And you think I drifted off to sleep
I can hear you softly weep.
And when I wake
I see the smile
But I know it's fake

So I unpin you from my wall
and out of my life you crawl.

Paper Words

I can see it in your words. They are nothing more then ink on paper but I can hear the disappointment in yourself the hatred. You're so willing to accept you did something wrong. You can only see your faults you don't see the beautiful mind. You want to be perfect but perfection is hideous why would you want to trow away something as wonderful as yourself?