It won't help

They feed off the destruction and pain you cause.
It won't help when you hurt your self
You think you can make it right if you hurt they'll stop.
It's not about Karma, not about fair, not even about you.
They want hurtpaindestruction and anyone ANYONE... who'll give it to them.
They don't give a fuck weather you live or die. They just want you to hurt.
But if you do, if you do die then they'll have you and you'll be forever theirs, always always feeding them.
It won't help.
That's why they keep you.

To forever

If I asked you to come would you follow me?
To forever.
Would you be with me?
To forever.
But am I needy because I need you?
Not according to you.
Apparently you need me to.

Running

Running, running, why why are you always running. From the fears? The looks? the judgements? Or is it me? Are you running running running away from me to them? Or them to me? Where where where where are you running running running to? Why why why do you want to go and leave leave leave? I need you to tell me. Stay stay stay because I can't go with you. But I need need need you.

The Monsters in your head

Running away from the world and it monsters, will only get you so far.
The monsters you're trying so desperately to escape, can find you. They can see you, all of the time- you can't, can't, CAN NOT escape them.
For you see these are not the world's monsters, you're running from. They did not spon from some greater evil. To find them just look into your mind. To destroy them, stop destroying yourself.

Dance

Dance, dance.
To the music you make, you sing aloud the most beautiful song.
Every breath you take makes such a sweet sound.
And darling every word is beautiful.

We can have the world.

Run away with me.
We can have the world, that's what they told me.
It's ours if we want it.
But we can't, can't have it if we stay here, in this oppressive town.
We need to leave go far, far away.
To the big city, we can have it if we want. It's ours, it's ours.
Or a small town, in the country, get a house far, far away from everybody. The streams, the meadows, the fires and all of the, all of the stars. Ours too.
We can have the world is what they told me.
So darling run, run away with me.

Embarrassing story time

Not normally what I write on here but... Embarrassing story time.

So I tried to go apple picking for a grad class event. The people I was driving up, decided not to go so I just drove by myself. After getting lost -even though I've been since told there is a clear sign telling me which way to go- I drove around for 45 minuets. So after a while I decided to turn around. I then saw a dirt road and thought "Hey I wonder if there are apples down here"...There weren't -_-, but there was a house. So after discovering that backing up the winding dirt road was going to be difficult I went to turn around. While turning I drove over a piece of pipe and got stuck. Great... So I got out of the car leaving it in neutral and running, then locked myself out of the car... After freaking out because my wallet and phone are in the car. I go up and awkwardly flag down this guy who lets me use his son's house phone that was a awkward car ride. While I'm using the phone his daughter-in-law and him are talking about her sex life with his son... So I call my Dad... he doesn't even seem surprised. Anyway the guy I flagged down came back and opened the door and towed me out.

So long story short.. Got lost... Got stuck... Got locked out...

Dream big but live small,
that's all you've ever done.
All you've ever known.

Laugh quite and cry loud.
That's all I've ever heard.

Twisted smile

Twisted into what could pass as a smile, I washed your lips move as you lied to yet another. You smirked and she smiled really smiled. It was the last one she'd give. The next time I saw her was with you, she smiled at me then but it wasn't a real smile, her lips barely curled and her eyes glistened. She was broken but still fixable. You kept her until she gave up. I saw her yesterday in sweats and a permanent frown.

Breath in,
"You're worthless"
Breath out
"You don't deserve to be treated like a human"
Breath in
"If you don't like it leave"
Breath out
"Ungreatful"
Breath in
"Bitch"
Breath out
"I'll take everything"
Breath in
"I don't care"
Breath out
"You don't deserve what you have"
Breath in
"Sit back down, I'm not done"
Breath out
Breath in...in...in...

Your throat closes of and you gasp in short little breaths to stay alive. But why what are you living for? It's scarier that you don't know why.

Fix the world

You just stared.
You watched it happen.
Let her break.
Is that a smile I see?
Did you really want this?

You sick fuck.

You act noble.
Try to fix the world.
Save the broken.

But really you wanted to see her destroyed.
And you did.
But just once.
You'll never see it again.
She's stronger this time.

Every person deserves to be treated with respect. Every person deserves to be treated like a human.

I am a human and you don't have a right to judge me.

Without you

I watched you walk anyway from me.
Your face was blank, emotionless.
I bagged you to stay.
I can't do this without you.
Please.
I screamed and screamed until my voice was horse.
I needed you then.

But I don't need you now

You came back several years later.
Expecting me to have waited for you.
Expecting to see just as broken as I was the day you left.
I'm not.
I'm ok now.
I don't need you to tell me that.

You broke me before.
Just so you could fix me.
But you left before you finished.
But it's ok, I found the glue.
And I better for it.
I'm just better without you.

This time he didn’t follow, he never would again.

Expect perfection

She kills herself, everyday, trying to be what you need. She just wants you to be there, somewhere in her life. She needs you, more and more everyday. And everyday you drift just a little bit further away.

Why, why are you so angry all of the time. Why are you so disappointed at everything.

You can't expect perfection, you'll never find it. You'll never have it.

And she's sick of trying to give it to you. You're supposed to love her, be proud. She tries so hard. But she has a life, one that doesn't belong to you. It's not yours. You have one, live that one, give her hers.

Sure you pretend, you love her, you care... She can tell you know. She sees the looks you give her, the sighs, the clipped tone. She knows you don't love her. She's not perfect, she'll never be perfect.

Just change

Just change.

Change everthing about you.

Conform.

To the ways of this world.

Fit in.

To those around you.

Smile.

Even when you don't want to.

Laugh.

When it's not funny.