The way it should end.

I often think of ways I can do it just to make it end. Last night as I drifted off to sleep I thought of holding that knife. Waiting until they went to sleep then locking my door. I would then stab my self in several places on my back and three times where my diaphragm ends, then I would cut off my left hand. Throw the knife into the wall hoping it would stick and the blood left on it would drip down. And with my last bit of energy I would lay on my back under the covers with my arm up top of them and my hand laying and inch away from where it should be attached. Then I would close my eyes and just give in.